Friday, December 31, 2010


Some shots of the season, captured on my phone... May your path lead in the direction of your bliss, may your heart grow and soar, may your soul be replete...



Thursday, August 5, 2010

Healing... Hope... Summer... Thunder

Hoping like anything to be back... really back...feeling more myself many days. Though this is far from over. Hope to share some lovely things from this summer soon.

So very much prefer the actual Thunder in my life to the proverbial thunder... It's beauty is evident, I know how it works, and it passes all the more quickly and predictably!

Love to all

Monday, May 24, 2010

(did you say,) "Lyme Disease? OH no you Di'n't!"

"Lyme disease is the most rapidly spreading vector-borne disease in the world.

The medical world is divided with one group saying that it is rare, easy to diagnose and easy to treat, and the other saying it is a difficult diagnosis because of the negativity of the ELISA test and the lack of medical education of medical students, family practitioners and specialists.

There is an urgent need for making the public and the medical world aware of this since there is an unexplained Lyme denial problem prevalent in our medical association.
I have seen many suffering from arthritis, mental fog, and severe fatigue and most of these patients have gone undiagnosed to the present day. "
Nuff Said?

I can't even go there, to tell the horror I feel. But the blessing is the opportunity for a better than conventional , alternative treatment.

I will speak disjointedly, just and only as a manner to update you all.

Currently being treated for Lyme's Disease. Explains A LOT. But too over being in the horror to explain the mechanics of the thing, or what it's meant for me. Apparently for years now. To quote Joe vs the Volcano of his Brain Cloud: "I KNEW IT!!! I mean, I didn't know it, but .... I KNEW IT!" His Brain Cloud issue was not serious much less real (as many may say of Lyme's) but it's symptoms dogged him for years.

The part I cannot take? My darling boy, my 15 year old with Mono since March apparently has it too.

I am taking the good and the blessings right along with the curse of it. But it's taking everything I have. Not to give in. For very long. With every burst of energy I can muster, however infinitesimal, I jump on that wave, determined to fight this, to drive out the fear and depression that are attacking us both.

My honor roll student hasn't been able to attend a full day of school since mid-March. Is too exhausted to do much, walks, more like shuffles like an old man, and then leans against a wall or sits in chair in order to make it across a room. It will take every bit of strength fortitude and advocacy we can lay claim to for him to finish the year. Good grades optional. But how to convince him? He who is all or nothing, can't do it halfway and live with himself, no matter how we reassure him? We are constantly working on that, too.

So. Not terribly creative during all this. Feel a bit broken, actually. But determined. At least at the moment. So many things have been on the back burner any way, since before any diagnosis. It's hard not to be well, harder still not to be able to hope realistically for a speedy recovery.

But we're still here. Fighting. And I'm missing you all.

I check in every once in a while...

Wishing you all HEALTH!
It's the best wish I can wish for you, along with peace, love, safety, whole hearts, and dear ones near.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

HAPPY EARTH DAY! One Body by Ben Strang

Happy Earth Day, dear ones.

Please view this moving Public Service Announcement, created by a young man near and dear to my heart. It's truth and sincere message, beautifully delivered, cut right to the heart of me.

I believe.

One Body from Ben Strang on Vimeo.

Ben, this Auntie is SO proud of you. :,D


Friday, April 16, 2010

In Resonse to a New Comment on "Virginia Tech... April 16, 2007"

Dear Carla,

Thank you so much for your kind comments-- I'd been thinking about this for the past several weeks, in the corners of my mind. But, with a child home sick for the past 4 weeks, today has crept up on me.

Today, I can only hope and pray that broken hearts are still beating, healing, however inexplicably, and that the love and prayers generated by these losses, that the memory of those lost and the positive effects of their contributions given and of those that were cut short before they might be given, radiate out into the wide world and surround us. Teach us. Heal us. Protect and guide us. Ever after.

Strangely, the tulips bloomed early this year-- first time ever, since the way they began that day. And they are, even more strangely still, a different color.

Perhaps, just perhaps, change is good.


(Original Post, dated April 20, 2009)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Thunder! & Lightening! & Hail! OH MY!

Oh fragrant spring... today you delighted the senses with sun and anonymous though lovely scents... of flowers' perfume carried on gossamer breeze.

And now this! The smell of fresh rain on the pavement, then the rumble of distant thunder. A peal and a CRACK! and the newly darkening, greening and blackening skies perfectly set in place to showcase bright flashes!

Then, portentous knocking, as the hail comes... falling with increasing crescendo. And just as I see- notice the stones look like moth balls on the skylight windows, they stop. Perhaps too proud to have their drama upstaged.

The patter and beating is decreasing now... the thunder only rattling. Like the wooden wheels of some caravan, rattling down the road, done pedaling it's mysterious wares.

Is it my imagination, or is the green just a touch greener? The light warmer, the water drops more crystalline reflective?

There is only now, to the ear, an intermittent metallic tap, the drainpipe... the last to stay after the show, clearing up after all the hoopla...

Now birdsong. The storm is really over.

And Spring. It's REALLY HERE!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Forest Lover...Painter Emily Carr...

...the Majesty of Trees, Totems, Raw Nature... An amazing and inspiring woman whose paintings move me... to a place of mossy verdant misty lifegiving fertile ground...

...did a multitude of things women weren't supposed to do at that time. Traveled alone, unmarried, was an advocate of Nature, advocate of tribal peoples and conservateur of their vanishing art through her art...

While watching the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver that took place this last month, I was moved more than I expected to be as they progressed. Somehow, in thinking of the totem poles as they were represented, my mind went to a favorite book, The Forest Lover, by Susan Vreeland. The story of Emily Carr. Canadian. Woman. Writer. Lover of Trees. Oil Painter. Fearless Traveler. Chronicler of Vanishing Totem Poles.

Then as the amazing stage changed again, as the giant totems began to become trees, even as she was already on my mind, I saw her there, honored. The style of the trees under which the dancers danced was that of Emily Carr. (I can't find a clip or shot of that yet; will add it to this post if/when I do.)

She studied oil painting in France when women of her time were not to venture past water colors, were not to travel alone, were best not to remain unmarried, and certainly were not to traipse about the huge wilderness that is Canada without husband or guardian or female companion. All of these things she did and more.

I urge you to become familiar with her, with her work, if you are not already.

After viewing her work, perhaps this March, as the waters return, and the greening begins, you will see her in the trees, in the greens, and in the invisible intractable movement that is being. ALIVE.

To me, she has been an inspiration. And her work holds a place cached in the stronghold of my most daring and most reverent heart.

Emily Carr; December 13, 1871 - March 2, 1945

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Dropped the Ball... Snow ball that is!

The title says it all; I really hope to rally and be back with you soon!

Oh, and that 4 day stint of cancelled school-- became 12 consecutive days. I don't know if I have the heart to post any pix at this point. Perhaps a compare and contrast? After all, as far as I'm concerned, Spring is here! (Kiss my grits, calendar!) ;)


Monday, February 8, 2010

BLIZZARD-- 30" with 10-20 More Expected over the Next 2 Days...

I have Internet, again, thank goodness...

I have photos, but am so over it at this point-- and so exhausted. Will try to upload some tomorrow. Before the next BIG WAVE comes! 2 Days of School missed, with 2more scheduled to be missed! Can you say cabin fever? I feel so fortunate to have power; we only lost power for a few hours on Saturday. There are over 90,000 people without power in my area, and with the next snowstorm due to hit tomorrow am, I fear for our family and others. We have some trees that are damaged, and some 30 foot evergreens that were bowed over to the ground, pinned down, which are still in danger even though we venture out hip deep several times a day to shake and sweep as much snow off them as we can.

Superbowl Party: was cancelled. School: cancelled. Major Roadways: open now after being officially closed for 1-2 days.

We have been shut in, but cozy, with plenty of food and fun. Friday and Saturday we cranked up the heat and I made lots of bread and kept the ovens going a little extra in the event we lost power. It helped when we did. But wouldn't have for long. The temps tonite will be in the teens, I believe.

I hope you and yours all are healthy safe warm and happy!

Hopefully I can fill in the blanks tomorrow and share some pics...


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

it's... GROUNDHOG DAY!!! Is it any wonder?

It's Groundhog Day again... I have not kept up with the movings of our Southern Burrowing Counterpart, but is it any small wonder Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today?

I mean, it's SNOWING AGAIN, here, people!

A perfect night to make a cozy meal, some corn muffins, and curl up with a good movie. There will probably be a delay for schools tomorrow...

I recommend, Groundhog Day with Bill Murray, and Andi McDowell, and lots of warm and RED. I seem to be craving reds, and plums, and cinnamons in all the grays and whites....
Wishing you all Warm & Cozy tonight!

Monday, February 1, 2010

My Lovely January... Until next year...


January rarely disappoints, to my mind. The stereotypical thoughts of this month, are brutal cold, ice, snow-- winter's hammer coming down hard after the warmth and sanguine nature of December has softened us up.

But deep in my memories, like a nut left by the squirrel of my mind, are different thoughts of January.

The days are just becoming noticeably longer. The pineal gland begins the turn towards spring. There are many more cold days to come. But somehow. Somehow. Hope has returned. I see it all round me. The buds are already beginning to swell on some of the leafless trees. The squirrels and birds, reminiscent of beach goers, are seen to be basking in the afternoon sun, as are cats such as the one with whom I share my life. My mother called this "going to Florida"-- when I would search high and low for my dear kitty as a child, I would often find her, just as my mother advised, prone on the wool carpet in the sun pouring in through the largest most south facing window of our house.

And then there are the thaws.

We have already had three snows this year: a moderate one of 8" or so, a big one over 2 feet, and a sugar dusting last week, where everything looked as though it were dusted in powdered sugar, and which was preserved so perfectly by the cold that even days later, even though sparse, the powder would still blow about. With highs of only about 16 many of those days, with wind chills around 9, and even more brutal temps at night, it's no wonder the sun could not bring a melt.

But now. Today.

Yesterday and the day before we reached temperatures over 50 degrees-- nearly 60! (I've been writing this in an ongoing manner-- as Journaling, almost...)And today we are in the 50's as well. The sky is deep warm blue today; clear- but not ice cold crystal that winter brings. A spring sky. Yesterday it was a robin's egg French blue with dusky lilac clouds. An oasis of spring in winter's wilds. A cruel trick perhaps to prevent those who inhabit this area from becoming acclimated to winter and it's temperatures, or lack thereof. And yet. This is what I've always known.

And perhaps this is why I garden in January. The air is relatively warm when warm-- but still refreshing- refreshingly warm and yet cool enough to cause one to not feel the exertion. And I can pretend. So easily pretend that winter has vamoosed, feign my escape for a day or two.

February doesn't afford me such opportunity, nor such inspiration. No matter the weather, it feels like the heart of winter, as though we are lost in it, never to find our way out. Valentine's Dinners, Cozy-Hot Romance, Red Flowers, and CHOCOLATE insert themselves here- is there any wonder why? Even though, really there is just over one month remaining. Before the waters of March return, the Lion and then the Lamb...

My beautiful January is now over, the 60 degree days have already ended. But it was just enough. For now. To have been able to warm my bones, see the light the color that temperature and humidity bring to my ambient life. Before the sun's light as reflected through the crystal clear and steely gray of colder weather are no longer "sparkling" and "moody" but rather lose their novelty somehow becoming "empty" and "dark". Stark. Still there is beauty there. In Winter's wilds. We had one last January snow; last night, we went out with a whoosh!

Thankyou, January, for this transition, this brief respite.

Welcome, February!
I hope you are all well and finding enjoyment in whatever Winter has for you!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

New Year's Day Orchid opening... a good sign...!

The New Year, here, entered gently... with skies not quite completely overcast, in shades of shell blue and tarnished silver... and breaking light softly gilding the tops of everything, enhancing the previously absent greens...

Last night was a "blue moon", and though the cloud cover and icy rain prevented us from viewing it, when at last we made our way to bed, the blanketed sky glowed an odd blue... as if the moon were saying: "Here! I'm up here! Thanks for checking! I celebrate, too!"

We turned down several parties in favor of a family evening in town; the four of us. We got tickets to a show; Young Frankenstein, the Broadway musical production of a family cult favorite film, in the Opera House. The Kennedy Center offered all ticket holders an after party with Champagne, party horns, swing music, and little one's favorite moment of the evening-- a balloon drop.


On the way home, all agreed to my suggestion (yay!) to stop at a family owned diner in my old stomping ground, for breakfasts, providing the tiny place's ten booths held a vacancy for us, and that it wasn't too smokey. We scored a table right away, the new proprietors, the original owners' grandchildren, had turned it to a smoke free restaurant, and a very merry time was had by all; western omelettes for Mom and Dad, burgers and fries for the kids, with the patties cooked carefully on foil for us thus ensuring all food allergies for our two were safely avoided.

As I cooked our late breakfast ("second breakfast"- yes, at times we ARE hobbits in a hobbit hole!)at home this morning, or I should say, this afternoon, it struck me that I'd not even contemplated any New Years resolutions at all. But as I serenely puttered away in the kitchen, making everyone their favorites and requests, some came to me sincerely and easily.

They may seem too easy or too vague, and I won't attempt to add shading and detail for you-- not to be evasive. It's just that the details wouldn't mean much.

I resolve in 2010, to look at things in a different way, to try to see the other angle, from a position of peaceful determination, to allow myself to be enlightened, to in this way, hopefully, let go of the other types of determination. The one's that've had me stuck.

I resolve to look at and to SEE my family, my children, my marriage, my husband, my house, my work, my aspirations, my goals, my talents, my SELF-- DIFFERENTLY. It has already begun. And though I know resolutions are made to be broken, I am not holding myself under law, here. Am only deciding to live, even if only a little, differently. Things will happen. Our futures will change. Whether a little or a lot.

The entire month of December, the word EPIPHANY followed me, like an angel trying to ring a bell and get his wings. Now January is here. The bell has rung. There is no unringing it. This New Year. Ringing it in... is done.

Happy New Year, everyone.


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