Monday, March 30, 2009

Briefest Update...


Thank you, everyone, for your caring and support.

It has been difficult this week. I was successful in visiting my Dad. And I made it back home unscathed (physically, at least; more on that later, perhaps!) about which I am HUGELY thankful.

I know that your prayers and support have made an big impact... can see a difference in the smoothing of obstacles... feathers... paths...

Sadly, my Dad was not in a good way when I visited... though cheerful, and bright eyed. I am moved more than I can afford to be whenever I think about it. It has left me very subdued, and unable to artificially spark into action, though I wish I could. So many things are being left undone, untouched.

Dental emergencies, a 3 birthday weekend just past, hard working teenager with a bad cold, and preparations for a family trip to the lone star state in 3 days which have scarcely begun mentally, much less logistically, have me wondering how long and deep and tangled my various colored denial can go on!

But it warms my heart to know you are there... I just wish I could be with you more.

I hope to catch up with all of you as soon as I can... and update you in perhaps a more interesting introspective way at some point.

Ever More love and thanks...
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7 comments:

  1. A. Lois HickeyMarch 31, 2009 at 9:44 PM

    Circe, my dear - I can touch upon the depths of the pain, confusion, sense of lost control, etc. and am sorry. Though thankful you are able to find some way through it - some days, it‘s just one foot in front of the other with many breaks in-between, isn‘t it? That’s o.k. It’s so difficult when we have so many obligations that we either need to attend to or feel we do. It’s like confusion on top of confusion, much of the time. Oftentimes, we simply can’t feel a lot of things until we’re out of the situation that is causing such pain or grief - I think that’s a blessing in ways, helping us emotionally survive - that non-feeling we feel, sometimes. A relative and I often talk about giving specific matters over to God and how much more at peace and capable we feel after doing so. She’s more progressed than I with this - I still feel a need to control everything. But knowing we have whatever higher being we believe in there to give things to when we need to can be such a help, at times. Sometimes, it’s all that I find I can do.

    I’m not trying to give advice, we're each in our own little places just trying to get by. I’m just very touched by certain feelings I’m getting, right now, and feel compelled to respond in a more personal manner - in a manner I almost always keep private. Hopefully, in the very least, you know that you have a great deal of love and light being sent your way. I’m glad it appears to be working, at least in some ways.

    Angels and angelic spirits…I think you’ve a great many surrounding you and your father/family, at this time in particular. I feel them all around. It’s really amazing. They are white and twinkling aura of light as I “see” them, right now. I’ve never seen as many as I can, now. They are with you and yours, surrounding you all. They are so good at sensing when we need them - and, they work silently, a great deal of the time. But they sometimes leave their signs. They are often the simplest things, but mean something unique and special to each individual: be it a bird outside a window, a star that grabs our attention at night, a song on the radio - very simple signs and connections that are tangible and trigger a sense of recognition, understanding, love, hope when we find them.

    May your trip go well - may a sense of peace and a stable ground to count on be with you and yours. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers daily, and you have many friends doing the same. And, you all have a great deal of love, light coming from above - please know that, it’s very strong and good.

    Many hugs,
    Amanda

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  2. Noreen BarronApril 1, 2009 at 6:33 AM

    Circe, your love for your dad is beautiful

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  3. MelApril 1, 2009 at 1:47 PM

    Dear Amanda,

    Thank you SO much... I am so grateful for and moved more than I can express by your kindness, understanding, your words, and viewpoints and reminders... I feel incredibly blessed. They all are a souce of strength to me; I will take them with me!

    Funny how we (or I should say "I") can decide to turn something over to God, and need to keep turning it over, again and again, how we straddle the line between faith and control so easily, even thinking we are on one side or the other to stay, but as it turns out, never for long...

    So strange; at just the precise moment I was reading what you wrote about birdsong, our male Cardinal sounded outside, a long song... I hadn't heard him in a few days. Wow. I will embrace these truths and reminders... Thank you.

    Thank you for the hugs, too, Amanda.

    Hugs right back!

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  4. MelApril 1, 2009 at 1:51 PM

    Thank you, Noreen, for your sweet words, and consistent truths...

    :)

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  5. Ciara BrehonyApril 1, 2009 at 6:30 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at the moment Circe. Heartfelt hugs and love and blessings to you. C x

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  6. MelApril 1, 2009 at 6:39 PM

    Thank you, sweet Ciara... blessings to you, too.

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  7. KathleenApril 7, 2009 at 3:45 PM

    oh my!!!! i have been absent for too long!
    are you ok?
    still out of town?

    my heart is heavy for you, mama. let me know if i can help...

    love to you. xoxo

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