Sunday, September 20, 2009

Prodigal Summer


The other night, whilst we looked at the stars, and felt a rare cooling breeze, and experienced the purple black velvet of night, and also the Edison yellow of the porchlight, and listened to the mellow and lively strings of John's guitar, a luminescent Luna Moth flew over our heads, with a definite determined lean to his flight, and seemingly on purpose, catching the light just right.

I cannot find out who designed the gorgeous endpapers to the wonderful book Prodigal Summer, by Barbara Kingsolver. The Moths remind me of my childhood, and all the varieties seen and hoped to be seen, from a little book of butterflies and moths, beautifully hand illustrated that sat on the coffee table of our livingroom growing up. What a rare treat to see some of these. So thrilled and privileged I feel when I hear a rustle and a tap on the window at night, to find some rare ephemeral beauty looking in at me... often oddly and startling large, their visits unique brief and singular, thus sometimes defying identification, fluttering for a few moments, and then away to other adventures.


I am okay with Fall's arrival. For once, I can hope and embrace it without loss for Summer. Perhaps because I know now, in my bones, though fewer will be granted me than before, that Summer will indeed come again. It is seemingly eternal, if not everlasting.


So I wave goodbye, to Summer, as if on the platform, knowing the timetables and that it's return will come even quicker than it did this year.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

private concert


(somehow, the post lost this lovely image- a painting by artist Paul Keysar, so I have reposted. Please do check out his work. Link below.)


lights... stars... flashes, fireflies

fountains of applause

single guitar, but full soul, beauty, love

one man band

for me

led zepplin merged with ocean blue

andre segovia

every instrument represented

within one.

cool metal chair easing the muscle cares of the day

cool blue notes easing the cares of my heart and mind



fingers flying, like one constant everchanging caress




flashes

someone else's lightning lighting the north night sky

like paparazzi bulbs

from some lost Hollywood

before the mid century

insects playing their Samba whistle,



their bossa nova

stars twinkling before their super nova

western sky a redline, along the treeline

some Hollywood skyline

remembered

the stars the lights

but the music

fills my soul and my embodiment

played near to me, near to my heart, just for me.

my true love

mellow

mellowing

intensifying

crystallizing

in beauty

purity

unity











Image above:

Cloudy Night by Paul Keysar


Thursday, August 20, 2009

absent-blog-minded


No, I've not fallen off the face of the Earth just YET...




Just been in the storm before the storm before the culmination of so much...


Hope to be back before fall, after the burial service next week.


xo
Ink Drawing

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Squashed flatter 'n a Bug


That's me. And no reanimation in sight. And yet, here I am, dead on my feet and scurrying around anyhow, as there's no way around it.

I took an all day class today; 8.5 hours at once. It was silly, but I didn't somehow realize until a day ago or so that I needed to read the entire textbook (and learn it) before I attended. And did I have time, even when I did realize? Not even a smidge. So I started late last night. And finished a bit before 3. AM. Boy did it bring back memories of cramming. I used to be the queen of cramming, when I only had myself to worry about the next day, and didn't realize that sleep deprivation is equivalent to being intoxicated. I didn't sleep well... keep dreaming that I was in the class, and woke about every 10-20 minutes... which is fine because it let me get up before the alarm at 620, and so my hubby could slumber undisturbed.

Why is it that as a wife and mother, even when I'm doing something "for myself", I cannot completely detach from duty? It was unnecessary for me to do laundry, housework and make breakfast for sleeping family before I left for the day. I mean, what do they really care? I would be better served to actually style my hair for once, to iron my shirt instead of splashing it with water or spraying it with wrinkle releaser. And yet...

And yet there is so much to do that will not get done, though it must. Tomorrow, I hope to catch up. Somehow. And Friday is an eighth birthday for my sweet little one, and a day spent with some friends, evening with family, (don't forget the not yet incarnate gluten free birthday cake)and somehow we should be ready to leave for the beach for 8 days the following morning. Not so bad. I guess. Except... except... I am the one readying everything. And everyone. Including the cat. The house. The garden. The special foods to transport for food allergic and gluten avoiding us. Why not do all this tomorrow too? Because.... because... more laundry, housework, so many emails, phone calls, contractors, repairmen, family who need help and information that pertains to their travel here in a few short weeks, and are waiting for my response, arrangements which will not be able to be done for a week, but cannot wait until we get back.

When we get back, finally, after an embarrassing number of years (hem) the bathroom will be tackled. The shower will work. The plywood backing which was NEVER code will be replaced with water appropriate board. The cracked floor will be replaced. The tub will no longer leak. The toilet will not sit in the middle of everything, but have it's own little 3/4 wall. We will have a master bathroom. Will will no longer need to run past the upstairs picture window to shower or de-shower to and from the kid's tiny bathroom. I'm sure the neighbors will either be delighted or disappointed. I hope they don't let me know. ;)

Then, with much much much much much more readying, the family will come. Every closet needs attention. Every room. Every weed. *sigh* Some will stay here with us. There will be big family gatherings, here, and in Annapolis, in Arlington. With the hope of honoring Dad.

Having a burial so long after the funeral, aside from obvious logistical and other difficulties one likely would choose not to think about, presents other challenges. It keeps things in a sort of hard real unyielding limbo state. I'm not complaining. It's just a different kind of hard. I feel Dad is around, is around me at times. I feel so lucky. I never felt that with my Mom. I always wish I had.

I really hope to post some things I've written. EVERYTHING feels incomplete; even the posts I write and have written. I have a poem of sorts, but no illustration, I have pictures (which I cannot access). It's okay, though. I also have enough. Of everything. Everything I need. And lots of stuff I probably don't! It's all good. I just hope I feel this same okayway tomorrow... when I'm hopefully no longer "intoxicated", when sleep has come and gone, and maybe, just maybe by the end of tomorrow, all my boxes will have (the correct) checkmarks in them.

:)

Image above actually a cute bookmark:
http://www.7gadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/deadmark_06.jpg

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Twilight Tuesdays: TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, Sunspots...Parrish Blue

Well, I have certainly been experiencing technical difficulties at Circe's Palace!


Computer overheating, and no longer recognizing my phone, where I take most of my pictures, so no personal downloads of any kind, digital camera experiencing some sort of disc error, missing dongle... is it sunspots? Or is it me? Talk about blog frustration...


Anyway, here is a tidbit for Twilight Tuesdays, which is not what one might expect. Long before I loved Edward, I loved Maxfield...


The one who introduced me to the twilight I have experienced to the core of my soul ever since... in every evening sky...

In the fading light, of nearly each newly ending day...

The final, velvet, best and glowing moments of...

Parrish blue. Twilight, by Maxfield Parrish &
New Moon, by Maxfield Parrish



: )




xo

Thursday, July 16, 2009

STUNNING: Repost of Video. Kayla & Kupono... dance ADDICTION

Danced to Gravity, by Sara Bareilles.

I wanted to share this last piece from SYTYCD by Kayla and Kupono. I just think they are a perfect pairing. We probably won't see them dance together again. What a treat that they ended up together for all that time and that two astoundingly beautiful and moving dance pieces came out of it.

This one is choreographed by Mia Michaels and is about Addiction. Chilling. I cried. Without fail. Goosebumps? Sure. Those, too. To see and hear Kupono's perspective going into it... and to witness Kayla portraying the fulfledged beauty of our humanity... *SIGH*

Kupono plays the role of "Addiction" though not entirely willingly. It makes the performance all the more poignant. First Youtube video I posted was removed. Try and see this while you can.

Note: the first 11 seconds don't play for some reason. What you miss is Kupono saying that addiction almost destroyed his family, almost destroyed the best friend he has... He has been directed to "smile" because he knows she's coming back no matter what. Ahh! Just watch it.

Monday, July 13, 2009

ANGST GODDESS!!!

WHAT THE FRIGGETTY PROFANITY LOVING MOTHER!!!!???
NO CHAPTER 50????!!!!
LISA? CIARA?
Something about this readus interruptus has me looking up Latin quotes.
"cetera desunt" -(the rest is missing!)
"Da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo!" - (Make me chaste and pure, but not yet!)
"Bis dat qui cito dat" - (He gives twice who quickly gives. )
HUGH *SIGH*....
(insert fiendish grinning wink here.)
 
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